RUSS TOBIN'S BEDSIDE GUIDE TO SMOOTHER SEDUCTION
Two paperback editions
Marks out of 10 for Cover
Both editions have a slightly larger
than normal format. Edition #1 has the standard Star layout and a lady with a gigagntic bottle of champagne. I'm 99% sure that this is the famous English glamour model Jilly Johnson! 8/10. For Edition #2 the bird has a nasty perm and Russ, the sly old dog, is pouring champagne in her lap. His hair looks like Weetabix. Bill Tidy illustrates both editions in his usual inimitable style. 6/10
"Seduction Is An Art, and Russ Tobin, Stud of the 70's, is its most accomplished practitioner. If your style lacks finesse, if your technique lacks attack, then learn from Russ's exhaustive experience of sticky situations. Here are his most overwhelming sexual sorties set down for your scrutiny: a catalogue of calamity and conquest. Avoid the pitfalls of the persistent philanderer and pursue the path to the pinnacles of pleasure with the Tobin amatory almanack!"
Brief Description of the Plot
"IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM SLEEP ON IT. If seduction is an art then that Stud of the Seventies Russ Tobin spearheads a school of his own. Grab hold of your voddie for his latest amorous adventures would sap the energies of the most garngantuan talent. The result of letters from his millions of readers is that Russ presides over a hilarious arena of sexual calamity and conquest to guide you beyond the basic truth that a bird in the hand is worth it."
No real plot as such - this book is a strange cash-in compilation of half-a-dozen prime Russ Tobin anecdotes.
The format is split into 6 reader's letters, with each one receiving a pre-amble from Russ as a reason to reprint a scenario from one of the existing books. These are more or less reprinted verbatim, save for the start and the end of each one, which are all edited slightly to make more sense in the context of this "Bedside Guide".
From Harold Hake of Clapham asking for advice about whether he should attend a kinky house party he's been invited to.
Russ responds with the tale of the Contessa's party and his encounter with Delphinia Orme.
Chapter 7 of Tobin In Paradise
From Alfie Crump of Bootle asking for advice about dating a girl who seems a bit weird and prissy.
Russ responds with the tale of Annie Kolokote and their 2 day sight-seeing jaunt to the Masai Mara Game Reserve.
Most of Chapter 15 of Tobin On Safari
From Angus Boil of Glasgow (at this point the letter start to take on a ridiculous phonetic accent style) asking for advice about what a salesman should do if a customer comes onto him.
Despite being spoilt for choice on this one, Russ opts to not use a personal experience, but instead responds with the tale of Mickey Maple and Jackie Mandell.
Most of Chapter 6 of The Courier
From Owen Blood of Swansea asking for advice about whether he should get involved with a married woman.
Again - Russ could have chosen several escapades here, but plumps for the tale of Malinda in the Bahamas.
Chapters 10, 11 & 12 of Tobin In Paradise
From a lady this time, Ariadne Glutt of Hull asking if she should show her boyfriend a blue movie.
Yet another topic where Russ has a wealth of experience, he responds with the tale of hide and seek on Christmas Day in Toronto with Dominique.
Most of Chapter 7 and all of Chapter 8 of Tobin For Hire
From Rodney Marshtit of Slop asking for advice about whether he should pursue a rich woman from a dreadful upper-class family.
Russ responds with the harrowing, cautionary tale of Caroline Courtney and the Kandy King boat.
Most of Chapter 3 and most of Chapter 4 of Come Again Courier
- Page at which Russ Tobin first reminisces about a previous adventure
The entire book is nothing BUT reminiscences!
- Page at which Russ Tobin first eyes up a lady
- Page at which Russ Tobin first gets to know a lady in the biblical sense
- Page at which Russ Tobin first drinks a Vodka Tonic
Serious points raised
That everyone is unique and whatever advice Russ gives might not necessarily work. More of a disclaimer really.
- Rating on the MORGANOMETER
Fairly pointless book as 90% of it has already been published in some form - so we'd give it nothing at all, if it weren't for the Bill Tidy illustrations. Even then, it barely registers a 1/10